We’ve had some direction changes with our fostering since we started. (I think I mentioned that in a different post? anyways… )
When we first started, the goal was adoption. I wasn’t sure how long I could handle fostering, I wanted to adopt, to “finish” our family. After the 2nd foster placement I had such a hard time saying goodbye (even though it was a great situation) that we asked for only kids who would most likely be adoptable. Then our 3rd came, & although that placement probably will end in adoption….it wasn’t going to be with us. There was another family who was the best fit, so after a month with us, we said goodbye & moved onto placement #4. This one I didn’t get too attached to, & after a month we said goodbye again. (this was another great situation)
We realized that no matter how perfect the situation might seem, you never know if a child is going to end up being adoptable or not. Birth parents who don’t seem like they’re going to try to work their plan end up trying hard & getting their child back. Birth parents who seem like they’ll try hard, don’t. Sometimes relatives, godparents, or family friends end up with the kids to keep them out of the foster system. & although I don’t like the label that a child being in foster care is a bad place….it really does seem Biblical & right for us to take care of our friends & family. So….after prayer & God changing my heart we told our case worker to just send us whatever placements she got for us. We even upped our number to 3 kids! That got us a call rather quickly. Placement #5, 6, & 7 stayed with us for a little over 3 months.
When we tell people our story, I always say we are fostering to adopt. For the last year Robbie’s just been telling people we are fostering. (He takes things one tiny step at a time. I tend to dive into things.) But I think now we are finally on the same page. After 15 months of fostering we have really grown to love being foster parents. & we’ll be a little sad when it’s over. If we ever stop. Or maybe we’ll adopt here in a few years, whenever God places those right kids in our home, then when they’re all grown up we’ll foster again. 😉 Robbie loves leaving for work being a dad of 2 kids & coming home to 3 or 4 kids! I feel like I’m always on call. I keep my cell phone with me wherever I go. Every time the phone rings I wonder if it’s a new placement! With some of our placements they have come in such need of love & care. It is completely amazing how quickly they change & grow with a little care. & Being a part of that is an experience that is life changing.
I went to a women’s event at our church recently. The speaker was our previous pastor’s wife, shew flew in all the way from Colorado to be back with us in East Texas. She challenged us to get off our bench. To get out of that area that is so comfortable to us, & do something, for others. Although people have told us we are off our bench & we get told things like “it’s so amazing what you’re doing”…..I don’t feel like I”m off my bench. Doing this seems natural. So what does that mean? & sometimes I “feel” that I’m off my bench more by fostering that by adopting. But is that a truth? I don’t believe so, sometimes it just feels like it.
Back when we were trying to decide on just taking “adoptable” cases or not, we had a meeting with Leisa, our case worker for Christian Homes. The main topic of the meeting was about the adoption staffings that the DFPS has each month. Case workers get files of kids who are up for adoption or who are about to be, & files of potential adoptive parents. We started thinking maybe this would be our way in…..but we always had this thought….our goal is not to “fight” other potential parents for kids. We want the unwanted. So why would we do the staffings? But Leisa told us we’d be fighting for the best for the kids. But that just never settled with us.
So where are we now? We have placement #8, & We’re waiting. I’ve gotten used to waiting. hahaha….do we ever really get used to waiting? let me rephrase…I am more used to waiting & now sort of know what to do in the waiting period! While watching the movie Fireproof I heard the song the Waiting by John Waller. wow. “While I’m waiting, I will serve You, While I’m waiting, I worship, While I”m waiting, I will not faint, I’ll be running the race….even while I wait.”
We’ve decided to drop our age back down to keep our youngest & the oldest foster 4 years apart. I mentioned that in an earlier post, as when it was suggested to us by someone older & wiser than us we slightly blew it off. But our kids are old enough now that when we get a placement that is close to their age, it’s like having a live in, forced best friend. & often not with the greatest manners/friend skills! We want our kids to be pushed, challenged, but not embittered. Honestly I do best with the itty bitty’s anyways. give me a set of newborn twins & I’d be in hog heaven!! Well, except that I have the crib torn apart to repaint it. After 6 kids using it, (7 if you include me!) it is in need of a fresh coat of paint!
Ok, I’ll go for now. While waiting I really try to stay on top of things around the house, bc when we get a call…everything kind of goes on hold for a few weeks while we all settle in. Wait Well!!! 😉