Adventure #10

Friday, February 5th we started our 10th adventure!!  The weeks prior I was trying to be patient, trusting God’s timing completely, just working on getting my emotions to line up with my beliefs/thoughts (I feel like I struggle with that too much!! Anyone else?) .  We had set our new boundaries to 1 child, or 2 siblings (not 2 from different families as that means 2 trips for visits w/ their family, 2 case workers, 2 dr visits….etc)  & we said 0-24 months.  Although we were fine w/ a 23 month old, I really longed for a little, itty bitty one.  I felt like if we got a 23 month old I’d be a little sad.  But I trusted God so much to bring us what was best for us & for the child!    Let me tell you this placement is amazing.  God answered just amazingly!!  Perfect age, size, etc.

But the flip side of that is that I was instantly attached. I’ve never really felt quite like this.  The word adoption has come up a few times (nothing direct, no termination plans/goals yet)  so my heart is just a mess. I’m so nervous.  I don’t want to do parent visits, & I find myself praying that if they’re gonna mess up they’ll do it right away & we’ll know if this is going to be permanent or not.  It’s strange feeling like this.  Honestly, I’m not very fond of it. L  My mind & beliefs tell me that God will not give me anything that He won’t help me handle, but my emotions just make me nervous.

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2 Responses to Adventure #10

  1. Kate says:

    I totally get where you are with your emotions. I was instantly attached when I got my foster baby too, and that attachment just keeps getting stronger. I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster ever since. It’s been a huge lesson in faith for me. God’s teaching me about living for today and trusting in His good and perfect will. I’m learning to stop planning for the future, focusing on today, and living in light of eternity. It’s not easy though and one that requires constant surrender. When my emotions really start to get to me, I’m brought to my knees. That’s the only thing I know to do, and I know that is exactly where the Lord wants me. It’s amazing the peace that comes when I truly surrender it to Him.

  2. Marty Jones says:

    Wow, , thanks for sharing your heart. I’ll surely be praying for you! Love you, Marty

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