Today (3.18.10) as I was changing a diaper, I felt led to give up this worrying/nervous feeling & desire to keep #10. But to pray for the family. We have a friend who God radically changed him, almost instantaneously. He was living a life of addiction, headed down a deadly road. God called him, & turned him to a 180 degree change toward Himself! So I KNOW God can do that! So that is my new prayer. I still want to keep this one, BUT am doing what I know we’re called to do, to pray for others that God will draw them to Himself. (Also that all people involved: caseworkers, CASA, judges, etc) will have guidance for the best route for this little one.
It’s now a few weeks after I wrote that previous paragraph….I frequently put them in a Word Document then post when I’ve really processed it… I’m not doing much better with praying for the parents. 😦 I’m taking a “Womenary” Course & last week our “professor” was talking about how “funny” (so many quote marks!) it is that we KNOW God will do what He knows is best, & somehow we try to change it. Like Jonah. He knew God so well, that God was going to save & change this terrible city full of people, so he ran away. Jonah didn’t think those people deserved God’s salvation. But God did what He wanted to do & got Jonah there even through a terrible storm & the belly of a whale. He knew God’s character & heart, & somehow missed, or ignored, it at the same time. Yup, that’s me. Today I feel God softening up my heart a bit. Almost like He’s preparing me to say bye & for another placement. *sigh* There are a few things in this case that have made it more complicated. bummer. But I TRUST GOD!! & I WILL obey even when I don’t feel like it. Because life & fostering is NOT ABOUT ME. God has used it in amazing ways in my life, but I’m not the center of it. We’re not fostering for me. Let me say it one more time, for it to start sinking in my brain, We’re not fostering for me.