I just got home from a WIC appointment that left me frustrated, down, discouraged, & embarrassed at my behavior. Then I went to the gym in an attempt to lose some of these extra lbs I’ve packed on the last 6 months. Yesterday was the final court hearing for #10, & even though everyone involved in the case is telling me it’s headed in a good direction, it didn’t end how I wanted it to. I watch too many reality TV shows like Intervention, Hoarders, Addicted, 16 & pregnant, teen mom…etc. & my heart gets overwhelmed at the state of so much of our society.
In a weird way, the last day has apparently been emotional overload for me. My body refuses to cry, so the tears & sobs just sit behind my eyes wishing for that release. I’ve been crying out to God, asking for His eyes, His peace, etc. I just read 2 of my daily emails from Proverbs 31 Ministries. God SO knows what we need at just the right times. These daily emails have lifted my spirits & my eyes to Him more times than I can count. I encourage you to sign up for them! they’re short, only take a few minutes to read.
here’s an excerpt that hit the spot for me this morning:
“Perspective is often limited by circumstances. God knows exactly what He’s doing in your life and it’s always based on love. When I’m overcome with fear I’m not really looking for answers. I’m looking for the assurance that God is near, that He’s in control, and He cares about me and my circumstances.
While others may reject us, you and I need not fear rejection from God. As I began to understand that God had not left me, but was in the pit with me, I started to see a deeper truth. Bad things are going to happen to me while on earth. Usually they are the result of living in this fallen world.
Sickness, abuse and death are part of life in a fallen world that God will someday restore. Until then, God may allow me to go through these things. It’s not to cause me any undue pain, but rather He allow them and then use them to accomplish spiritual growth. Charles Stanley explains, “Some things are so important to God that they are worth interrupting the happiness and health of His children in order to accomplish them.”
This was true with Mary and Martha. Jesus told Martha that she would see the glory of God if she believed. Did you catch that? Believing is seeing. If you and I choose faith over fear, we will see the glory of God turn our pain into life and blessings.
As Mary and Martha believed, they witnessed the glory of God when He raised their brother from the dead. Their fears vanished and their faith was restored. If you and I want to exchange our fear for faith, we must believe that what Christ has in store for us is worth our present pain.”
I’m gonna have to process this today & figure out how to apply it in my life. Praying for this type of knowledge to really sink into my heart & daily life.
Fostering can be painful. But it is also a HUGE blessing in my life & my family’s life. I can see God’s hand in it all. & 90% of the time I LOVE it. Even through the ickyness of it, it’s a joy to be able to be a foster parent. Sometimes I let that 10% weigh me down. Not today!