small update…

many of you know that #12’s mom has been coming to church & lunch with us. YAY!! we’re going on 5 weeks now!  I’ve “supervised” the last 7 weekly visits (in addition to church) & she went to a dr appointment for said child.  We celebrated his birthday with a lunch up at church with some friends.  Her dad (baby’s grandpa) came for a few minutes as well. She was so excited!  She met us at Walmart for baby’s first haircut, which went well & I think looks MUCH better! no more mullet! ha!

#10 is still having bi-weekly (? every other week) visits with his parents. who break up, & get back together, break up, get back together. ugh.  Wednesday the 5th it will be 11 months since this one came to our home.  My emotions are on a rollercoaster with this case.  A Trial by Jury date has been set for next month.  It’s looking good for us, but I’m still pretty much a mess about it all.

I know all the right things….

  • all the stats/facts on the case that almost prove it’ll go the way we want it to
  • all the verses that God is in control; won’t give us more than we can handle; knows the best for everyone; that if I give my worries to Him I’ll have amazing peace…
  • that I’ve said over & over that this is not about us, but about the child, & even if our time with this one is a full year then it’s over, fostering was still the right thing to do…
  • ETC..

But my heart is just a mess.  I have amazing moments of peace that are gifts from God I’m so thankful for. Then I have moments where my body gets shaky, teary, & I feel like losing my lunch.

We were supposed to have a visit today, but it got moved to tomorrow. then it just got moved again to next week & will be for 2 hours. BOOO!!! the good thing is that there’s only 2 visits before trial now instead of 3, but it’ll be the same amount of time. 2 hours is going to be excruciating for me.  trying to think of things I can do in a VERY small town for 2 hours….with another little one with me…hmm…

On the way to our visits (40 min drive each way) I usually listen to a podcast from DAvid Platt (Radical).  Although I don’t remember exactly what it was about, I remember coming away with an amazing realization that even though this is hard…God is probably giving me more strength & comfort than I know.   What would it be like to go through this without Him??

I ask for your prayers when we come to mind the next month as we await the final decision on this little one who feels like a member of our family.

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