Mine! Mine! Mine!

*The 14 day hearing for foster #14 was today. All I can say is that we get to enjoy little one for at least 30 more days. YAY!! that’s how I’m trying to look at it…enjoying each day & trusting the Lord with tomorrow.*

Can I say how I am continually amazed how God provides just the right words & lessons right when I need it?! Awesome!As for the title: Mine!Mine!Mine!, this is an excerpt from today’s Proverbs 31 Ministry Devotional by Lysa TerKeurst

“We got a new puppy named “Willow” for Christmas. Well, our other dogs Champ and Chelsea aren’t sure what to think of precious, little three-pound, Willow.

I thought it would be a good investment for the dog relations in our home if I spent time with them outside to help them all feel the love. So, I sat on the ground and loved on each dog.

They enveloped me in a flurry of wet kisses, fur, and stinky dog breath. I was having a ball. And they were all getting along. Bliss.

Until…Willow came and sat on my lap. Claiming the prized location of closeness with me, I don’t think she realized the signal she was sending. Champ suddenly backed up and growled. His tail stopped wagging. And he was not happy.He walked beside me, looked straight at Willow, lifted his leg, and drenched me in tee-tee!

Champ was marking his territory. “That’s MY mama!”

His strong expression of “MINE” was a stark reminder to me of just how disgusting a heart bent on self can be. Champ couldn’t enjoy all he was experiencing in the moment, because he was so laser focused on the one way he felt slighted.

God challenged me to recognize and refute selfishness by seeing — really seeing all that I’ve been given. And never looking at a blessing I was given as something just for me. I always make myself think two things…

1. Thank You God for entrusting this blessing to me. I know it is a gift from You.

2. How can I use this as an opportunity to bless someone else? The blessing will be more rewarding if it’s not all about me.

Do these things come naturally? Not at first. Not in a ‘me first,’ Mine! Mine! Tee-tee on others kind of world.

But we aren’t called to live according to the norm, doing what comes naturally. We are called to rise above. Be set apart. Be different. Be pure in every way. Right in the midst of what we’re doing today, how can we graciously and purely represent Christ as we RE-present Him everywhere we go?

Dear Lord, thank You for every good and perfect gift You have given me. Help me to put others before me and to have a heart to see them as You do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”

So in my mind this daily devo completely hit the mark in how I’m feeling with little #14. Although I do really think this little one being with us is the best thing for him right now, a lot of my emotional struggles are about me. & how everything is affecting me. Driving fosters to visits takes time & makes me nauseated, because I think I’m better than them & they don’t deserve a visit. I struggle a LOT with not having my feelings/thoughts/rights matter at all. We’re just here to be mega-babysitters.Case workers, lawyers, judges, etc. have no care for my feelings. Me. Me. Me.  This baby is Mine. Mine. Mine. Yuck.

Having a newborn, even for a short time, is such a gift from God! & being able to keep these little ones healthy & safe & loved, even if only for a short time is exactly what I need to be doing for the child & the family & maybe even for case workers, our friends, our family & maybe even strangers to see God’s hand at work. (That’s if I let Him shine & don’t get all stuck on my emotions)

Another way I can bless someone else is by letting my friends with baby bugs get to hold these little ones! Selfishly I want to hold them all the time. I’m not by nature good at sharing babies. I have to work hard at it. Lately I’ve actually enjoyed getting to see other people’s face light up when they get to hold one of our little foster babies.

It will still be hard if/when we have to say goodbye to little baby. But for now, all I can focus on is this day, this moment & my attitude. I’m going to be thankful that we have #14 each day. & try to find opportunities for God to shine through our fostering.

So glad Lysa shared today about how gross selfishness really is.

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5 Responses to Mine! Mine! Mine!

  1. Carrie says:

    I can totally relate! Just today, I realized that I’m holding onto our little one like she is mine and that I should be the one to raise and love her because I am so much better than mom. Yuck! I was reminded by a friend last night that I would be where these mothers are if it wasn’t for God’s grace in my life. My being a “better mom” (not that I really am) has nothing to do with my abilities. It’s all Him!!!! I’ve been convicted of how tightly I hold onto our little one. I need to open my arms and remember that she ultimately belongs to the Lord, and only He knows His plans for her life. Thanks for sharing your heart!

  2. LaDawn says:

    I am amazed and inspired by your honesty and introspection.

  3. Sarah says:

    I 100% agree with LaDawn and was just going to say the exact thing. I love you, friend, and you continue to amaze me, even after our 20 years of friendship!!

    • rmljones says:

      Sarah & LaDawn, thanks. I am forever critiquing myself. but that doesn’t mean that I always follow through with my “great insight”. I’m currently quite stuck in worrying over this little one’s case. about to make a post about it. everytime I start worrying, I hear God say “Trust Me”. & I sigh & say ok. then 5 min later the same thing over & over again. *SIGH*.

  4. kate says:

    first of all, GROSS! seriously. you know i would have been much more dramatic about that nasty story. i just read it to brad and it just makes me GAG!
    second, thank you for letting me hold your little baby. since i’m a “baby bug” friend, you certainly did make my day (and annaleigh’s day) when you came over. 🙂
    third, you have such an important roll and purpose in these babies’ lives…for a day, a week, a season. you are so valuable and i hope you know that. you’re not a babysitter. you’re a picture of God to these little sad lives. you are hope, you are stability, you are strength, you are love, you are MAMA! you are an amazing woman, and i can assure you that my tears would have been flowing much more than yours have this week. call me if you need to, or text me, miss non-phone-girl. 🙂
    love you!

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