Haven’t cried since last Sunday! I know many of you have been praying for me. Thank you! I feel the Lord’s hand working on me. Keeping me calm when my thoughts start going crazy places.(which they sure do! man, I have an over-active imagination sometimes!)
Monday I decided to email our C.H.(Christian Homes) CW (Case Worker) with some of my concerns about #14’s case. Since she worked for CPS for at least 10 years, in several different areas, she has insight that helped a LOT! Although she doesn’t know all the specifics behind this case & exactly why they are doing things they are, like the 2 visits a week, she did tell me why she did some of the same things in her previous job. She was a little tough on me, caring for my emotions, but also defending CPS. At first I was a little annoyed; feeling like yet again no one cares about foster parents. But God worked on my heart & I actually am at a point now where I am relying on her words about trusting CPS.
Seems like #10’s case was teaching me about not worry or being anxious. & this case is about me trusting. Probably will never have either one down, & it’s not really fun being constantly molded, but I’m thankful for it.
Thursday our CPS CW did come over. She was very nice & very professional. Which means tight lipped. So I didn’t get any new information. She did re-iterate that there is a big team of people watching out for little baby. Also, she’s been involved with the case for quite awhile (longer than the 3 weeks we’ve had baby). So that helps me feel more confident in her taking the case seriously. She’s rather new to CPS & has had a lot of cases dumped on her recently. There were a couple of things we discussed Thursday afternoon that she was going to check on, & by Friday afternoon she had answers for me! Shocking!! The main thing is that she worked out some help transporting to visits for me. I HATE my babies being away from me, & someone else transporting, but this will save me a lot of time. I won’t have to find something to do for an hour with a toddler twice a week in a weird part of town. (Although the zoo is just 4 min up the road, so Friday toddler-#10 & I used our season passes & went for a bit!)
We are still waiting on a few different home assessments, so there is still a possibility baby could leave anytime. I know God will hold us through whatever happens with baby, but I’m still asking HIM to doing something BIG!! (not just in my heart, but in the actual case.) I always pray for all truth to be revealed. God knows the future. He knows how baby will be as the years go by; what kind of person he will be & what kind of family he needs. We as foster parents see the low expectations CPS has on these parents. They can get their kids back sometimes just scraping by. So I pray that whatever the relatives who are asking for custody & whatever birth mom are going to be like in the future will somehow come up now. (Does that make any sense?) So they can’t just be barely good enough to get baby, then go back to a less than good lifestyle when CPS is out of the picture.
In the mean time…God is helping me enjoy each day with whatever kids we have in our home.